Cafes & Retreats

Meet Anna Scurry, a 58 yr Cork mini marathon runner -she has completed 17! from Co. Waterford. Anna changed career during perimenopause retraining as a healthcare assistant which she loves. “I commenced work in my mid 40’s at  Dungarvan Community Hospital. I am passionate about person centred care for our residents. I always say what I do is called life not just work and our residents enrich our lives so much each day”. 

In her free time Anna loves the outdoors, spending time in nature, but also photographing its beauty. A creative interest she started during the covid lockdowns. She also loves baking in particular on rainy days.

Phil Coulter and ABBA are amongst her favourite musical choices.

Life before the cafe

“Before meeting Breeda in 2019, attending a talk, and café gathering, I had never heard of perimenopause  and I had a very negative outlook on menopause. Embarrassment and silence was everywhere and there was no public information available”.

Life after joining the café

“My first few visits to the cafe were like a gift from Heaven. At the time I had a lot of symptoms, I was struggling with no sleep, night sweats, fatigue at work due to lack of sleep, brain fog, I had days where I could hardly put a sentence together, muscle and joint pain. Getting information and knowing there was help out there while also giving support to each other made all the difference. I regained my confidence, I began to see menopause as a wakeup call to look after ourselves.

Tips from Anna

Invest in yourself during these years. If you are struggling you are not alone. Go talk to your GP. Find a group of women on this journey who will support you. Life does get better.I take Magnesium which I found fantastic for sleep and relaxation. I also take Vitamin D. stretch each day and have regular reflexology sessions. Having a more positive perspective on this time of our life gives great hope. You will find Anna running through Crough wood, walking Bonmahon Beach or ambling through the beautiful Mount Congreve Gardens when not at work.

Meet 56 year old mother of three Helen McGrath from Co.Tipperary.

Hello my name is Helen, I am a wife and mother to three girls. Our youngest Grace aged 24 years  has special needs.I am her primary carer. I am also a breast cancer survivor of 10 years.

Before attending the Midlife Women Rock Café:

Firstly it took me three attempts traveling to Waterford before I found the courage to go in and join Breeda and the group.I had been suffering for a few years with social anxiety which inhibited me from leaving our home, struggling to stay in supermarkets or shops or enjoy a lunch outside the home.

After attending the Café:

Making the decision to travel 45 minutes to the café has changed my life. Listening to other women on the same journey as me helped me feel less alone. The support and camaraderie we have built up over the past few years has been great. It has given me a new purpose in life. Before entering public places now I say to myself “I can do this” I have not looked back since my first café.I am even more determined now to share all I have learned. Women do not have to FEAR menopause.

Tips

Don’t be afraid to talk to you GP if you are not happy with their response go to another GP

Supplements Good Nutrition and HRT have all helped my symptoms. Talking openly with other women at the café has helped me to confidently talk to anyone.

It’s another stage in a woman’s lifecycle educate yourself reach out for help if you need it.. There is now a lot of support out there.

Helen enjoys  walking in nature, reading and relaxing with a good book. Connecting with other women in the Café has been lifechanging for her. She hosts our whatsapp group.

Hi my name is Jennifer Johnston from Waterford City. I am married to Tom and we have a son David. I love music and singing and am learning the ukulele. I am also trying to learn a little Ukrainian, as I have recently made a friend from there. 

Before I came to the café:

I had been having a difficult time with symptoms of Menopause.  I knew relatively little about it and didn’t know anyone that was talking about it.  I feel so lucky to have had a brilliant female doctor, who really helped me find my way through, starting me on HRT.  It was she that recommended that I attend the Mid Life Women Rock Café. I was hesitant at first as I was going alone and did not know what to expect, however it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

After I came to the café:

The first day I went to the café, I was made to feel very welcome by Breeda, and she introduced me to the other ladies.  Everyone was so warm and welcoming, and talked openly about their menopause journey. I felt comfortable and accepted with this lovely group of women and was able to find my feet again.  I realised that I was not alone and that menopause is a normal transition, that every woman will experience.  Here I found support, encouragement, compassion and understanding.  Also I found, information, education, no judgement, camaraderie, fun and friendship. 

What I have received from attending the Mid Life Women Rock Cafés:

1. My confidence in myself is back, I found a shift in myself, where I now feel able to move beyond the stigma and taboo, I will talk about menopause  to anyone who wants to discuss it.
2. I have been able to help my sisters (I have 5, all younger) and friends.
   

3. Learning about the 3 Ss: Self -Care, Slowing Down, Space has been huge.
4. I have learned that neuroscientists have discovered that the 55 year old brain can be  as sharp as the 25 year old brain (WOW)!
   

Remember

You are not alone. Feel empowered by knowing that Menopause is a normal transition that every woman will go through. You are not ill … Its Menopause …It’s not the end of everything, it’s a new beginning!  There are no right or wrongs … Different things suit different people … no judgement … Do what’s right for you. 

Meet 51 year old Ruth 

Hi, my name is Ruth and I’m 51 yrs old and live in Co. Waterford.  For over two decades, I would have worked within many Social Care/ Healthcare settings and really enjoyed my job.  

In my late 30’s, I began to put on weight ( Looking back I now know I had entered  peri-menopause), and had no idea! My energy levels dropped, and I put it down to shift work. By my early 40’s_ I was told I was Menopausal, feeling depressed ( but not really understanding why), I felt fatigued and lost my sense of humour. Also, during this stage, I fell pregnant (which was a massive shock).  

The only thing that kept me sane, was the love I had for my beautiful son and the love for the great outdoors (walking on the beach, or in the countryside) and reading!   Within two years of having my son (whom was born healthy, Thank God), I was told I was in Post Menopause Stage. 

 Life before I attended the Cafe’s:

Life was busy and stressful juggling work and raising a toddler alone. unknowing or unable to see a clear future. I heard about a café group at Waterford Health Park, The first time I went to the Cafe, I was asked if  I looking for a mother & child group as I had my son in my arms. No I said, ” The Midlife Women Rock Cafe”.  

It was at these Cafe’s that I met a fantastic Menopause educator ” Breeda Bermingham”, and a group of strong and knowledgeable women. Over many months We exchanged our stories and journey of our Menopause which was a huge support to me. 

I personally feel, anti- depressants, and other medications are given out too freely, without finding out the route cause (could it be Menopause)?. 

Ireland is way behind on educating women on Menopause. Learning about Menopause will prepare/educate young girls and women, that menopause is another stage in life and normal once we understand what is happening. 

Benefits of coming to the Cafe’s:

“For any women out their reading my story, and struggling in general, not feeling themselves, reach out and come to one of the Cafes.  

We all share our stories, it’s a very supportive safe & welcoming group and you will learn so much. Education and Knowledge is Power.  

Bring a friend, come alone and find out for yourselves”. Regards Ruth 

You will find Ruth cycling the Greenway with her little boy  or with her head in a good book She loves to continually learn when she has the time.